I found this very weird, completely un-newsworthy story in the Cork Examiner, 30th August 1841.
“On Friday Last,” says the Tyne Mercury, “two gentlemen tourists witnessed a severe conflict between four Martin swallows and five common sparrows in the air, near the road between Ardoch and Crieff. They fought nearly five minutes, when a hawk darted in amongst them; but no sooner was he recognized by them, than both parties uniting, encountered him, and beat him so severely that he was scarcely able to fly off with his life.
“How happily this typifies the present conflict for place between the two great Parliamentary parties! The Martin swallows and sparrows are the Whigs and Tories and the hawk who darts in among them, clamorous for food, is the People; but no sooner do the contending parties recognize this new-comer, than they both unite to punish him severely for his impertinent intrusion.”
This is . . . the most shoe-horned message I have ever heard. Two guys said that they witnessed an unusual event in the food chain happen this one time. LET’S MAKE THIS ABOUT POLITICS.