More Terrible Film Titles

I've done a couple of these posts before, in which I trawl through and try to find some ridiculous early silent film titles. It never disappoints. For me, it's better never seeing these films; the delight comes from wondering what in the sweet, sweet hell these titles could possible mean. Some of these have appeared on this blog before, but I've included them if I can provide a bit more information on the title.

I've divided up films by year:

A Smoked Husband
Rescued from an Eagle's Nest

Her First Biscuits (which sounds filthy and stars Mary Pickford as 'Biscuit Victim')
The Maniac Cook
Trying to Get Arrested
Schneider's Anti-Noise Crusade
A Corner in Wheat
The Winning Coat
Eloping with Auntie
Eradicating Aunty (hopefully these two titles aren't related)

All On Account of the Milk
Muggsy's First Sweetheart
The Dancing Girl of Butte
Thou Shalt Not (shalt not WHAT? This is driving me crazy)

The Fair Dentist
A Gasoline Engagement
His Trust: The Faithful Devotion and Self-Sacrifice of an Old Negro Servant (ummmmmm)
What Shall We Do With Our Old?
Teaching Dad to Like Her

The Mender of Nets (starring Mary Pickford as . . . 'Net Mender'. Sounds riveting.)
Just Like a Woman
Won by a Fish
A Blot on the 'Scutcheon
The Transformation of Mike
Lena and the Geese (which I can only assume is like Leda and the Swan, but with less sex. Hopefully.)

For Those Unborn

Hoodoo Ann
The Matrimaniac
The Mystery of the Leaping Fish
Reggie Mixes In (mixes in WHAT? Finish your damn film titles!)


Tillie's Punctured Romance

Please write in if you discover any more! Sadly, I think I've exhausted imdb for English-language stuff. I'd love to look at early French or German film titles (I bet they have some doozies), but since I don't speak French or German, they won't mean anything to me. Any reliable translators out there want to help out? 

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4 Responses to More Terrible Film Titles

  1. Anonymous says:

    Mystery of the Leaping Fish

    You must watch this one. It’s quite short and stars Douglas Fairbanks as a drugged-out “scientific detective”:

    —NW, Bijou Impromptu


  2. Anonymous says:

    Mystery of the Leaping Fish (2)

    Apparently LJ marked my previous comment as spam because I included a YouTube link to this must-see film starring Douglas Fairbanks as a drugged-out detective. No link this time!


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