Today is the second anniversary of this blog's birth. It started out a place for me to vent, since I have to be so painfully professional and analytical in my day-to-day work as a PhD student. Sometimes you just need to drop an f-bomb or 75.
I have posted three times a week for an entire year (apart from a two-week hiatus when I thought I was going to lose my mind . . . and apart from a few days where I just plain forgot). Last year, I provided a summary of all of the crazy shit we encountered (back when I was nuts and posted every single day). This year, I will do the same.
This year I gained 150 new Twitter followers and got over 25,000 page hits. I just wanted to thank you all so much for your continued support in listening to me curse and be ridiculous. Without further ado, the year in review:
2.) This year we saw some historical badasses. Whether you're setting all the men in Europe aquiver like Jello in a high wind, or getting rid of your chronic ill-health through the sheer force of your will, or a demi-god who has the power to summon earthquakes (related post: Edison is a Twat-Waffle), or killing a leopard with your bare hands, or dressing up like your (slave) husband's white master and escape with him to freedom, or able to be shot in the head 4 times and have 2 airplane crashes and STILL not die–this year was truly the year of terrifying human beings.
3.) We also realized the horrors of early-twentieth-century film titles, like Foxy Grandpa Shows the Boys a Trick or Two with the Tramp, and Nell's Eugenic Wedding, or Weary Willie Kidnaps a Child and A Sculptor's Welsh Rabbit Dream.
4.) There were some strange marital practices. Like having all of your teeth pulled as a wedding present. Or taking a second honeymoon to reconcile with your wife, and brining along your mistress. Or fathers walloping suitors with giant dicks until they married their daughters. Or never speaking to your spouse once in 20 years. Or make bridal shoes designed to stab enemies through the heart.
5.) We discovered that the Victorians were delightfully creative in naming their pornography.
8.) There were plenty of spooky things, like a Victorian UFO. Or people digging up sexy corpses and falling asleep on them. Or meat raining from the sky. Or ghosts providing legal evidence.
10.) They got their medical knowledge really wrong. Did you know that playing the piano caused mental disorders in girls? Or that women's breasts would get bigger if their husbands spent some quality time at home? Or that booze cures literally EVERYTHING? Or that wanting to escape from slavery is a psychiatric disorder? Or that jaundice can be cured by peeing inside a carrot? Or if your baby laughs, it's probably insane? Or that childbirth is a refreshing, delightful experience?
12.) I also recapped The Castle of Otranto, a book whose number of unhealthy relationships is only exceeded by the number of unanswered questions it leaves. Also, there is a character called 'The Knight of the Gigantic Sabre', and I laughed uncontrollably the first time I read that.
13.) Violence was at its strangest. You could be killed by a drunken bear. A judge could fine you $5 for permitting yourself to be thrashed by a woman. You could give the order to 'Fire!' at your own execution. An army once accidentally attacked itself, not once but TWICE within an hour. You could poison your wife by putting arsenic in her vagina. You could murder someone by putting them in a haybaler. You could be a Swedish Jack the Ripper. You could poison somone through the mail. You could have seriously overly-elaborate duels.
15.) There was a lot of advice on how to act like an aristocrat! Advice on your health, advice on how to manage your family, advice on how to party, advice on romance, advice on beauty, advice on raisin' yo' kids, and advice on dining with style.
These are, of course, by no means all of the posts I did this year. There are loads more, and all of them are delightfully weird.
Last year when I did this update, I went from posting every single day to just posting three times per week. The three times per week thing has worked out well for me and I'm happy to keep going with that. However, this may be subject to change (or at least subject to the occasional long break), since I am not only getting married in a few months, but I am also finishing and submitting my PhD dissertation in roughly the same sort of time. Because I am crazy and scheduled those two things together.
Thanks again for being so delightful, and for humoring me and my foul fucking mouth for TWO STRAIGHT YEARS. Let's go for a third.