I really love this web show called "Welcome to the Basement" (where these two friends watch, mock and discuss movies) and in honor of one of their episodes where they viewed an early silent film, I did a post about the goddamned stupid titles they used to give films around the turn of the century. So I decided to do another one.
The following are all honest-to-god film titles from the early 1900s (1920 is my
completely arbitrary cut-off point), and you can look these titles up on IMDB if you don't believe me. There's a lot of implied racism and weird stuff about poultry here. Enjoy.
P.S. Every single title from 1902 sounds like a porno. So, all of you porn producers who are reading my blog right now . . . you can pack up the "Dirty Title" meeting I know you must be having, and go home early. You're welcome.
The Boys Think They Have One on Foxy Grandpa, But He Fools Them; or, Foxy Grandpa Plays Banjo As Well As He Dances
Boys Take Grandpa's Cigars with Distressing Results
Foxy Grandpa Shows the Boys a Trick or Two with the Tramp
A Romp on the Lawn
Mischievous Willie's Rocking Chair Motor
The Accommodating Cow
They Found the Leak
What Ho, She Bumps!
Where is My Hair?
An Awful Skate; or The Hobo on Rollers
The Red Man and the Child [Racism #1]
Deceived Slumming Party
The Greaser's Gauntlet [Racism #2]
Monday Morning in a Coney Island Police Court
Romance of a Jewess [Racism #3]
The Feud and the Turkey [Poultry #1]
The Invisible Fluid
Who is Smoking that Rope?
An Obstinate Tooth
An All-Wool Garment
Oh, What Lungs!
Just Like a Woman
Those Awful Hats
The Suicide Club
Her First Biscuits
Mrs. Jones' Lover; or, "I Want My Hat"
Wanted, a Child
In a Hempen Bag
Eloping with Auntie
A Case of Tomatoes
Scenes from the World's Largest Pigeon Farm [Poultry #2]
Too Much Dog Biscuit
The Affair of an Egg
That Chink at Golden Gulch [Racism #4]
The Dumb Half-Breed's Defense [Racism #5]
The Count that Counted
The Brother, the Sister and the Cowpuncher
The Ostrich and the Lady [Poultry #2]
Hank and Lank: They Make a Mash
His Bogus Uncle
The Musketeers of Pig Alley
The Goddess of Sagebrush Gulch
Lena and the Geese [Poultry #3]
The Biter Bitten
A Misappropriated Turkey [Poultry #4]
Broncho Billy Gets Square
Broncho Billy's Squareness
Rastus and the Game Cock [Racism #6 AND Poultry #5]
Help! Help! Hydrophobia!
The Fatal Mallet
Fatty's Wine Party
Shelley and a Turkey [Poultry #6]
Nell's Eugenic Wedding [Probably Racism #7]
Chicken Chaser [Poultry #7]
Too Much Turkey [Poultry #8]
Broncho Billy and the Greaser [Racism #8]
Broncho Billy's Greaser Deputy [Racism #9]
Broncho Billy's Mexican Wife
Broncho Billy, Sheepman
The Half-Breed [Racism #10]
Poultry a la Mode [Poultry #9]
Luke Pipes the Pippins
Luke's Fatal Flivver
Luke Does the Midway [Is that like Debbie Does Dallas?]
Luke and the Bang-Tails
Lonesome Luke, Lawyer
Lonesome Luke, Plumber
Stop! Luke! Listen!
Are Waitresses Safe?
An Enemy of Soap
Kicking the Germ out of Germany [an anonymous commenter has, quite rightly, nominated this for Racism #11]
Hustling for Health