@EJBrand on twitter alerted me to this story about a gift for Queen Victoria on her wedding day: it was a block of cheese with the royal arms stamped on it, weighing 80 stone and measuring over 12 square feet. Apparently it was listed in this section of the paper under "Fashionable Arrivals".
So now I have a fall-back gift for any wedding I attend.
This is apparently very similar to the story of President Andrew Jackson's two-ton wheel of cheese he kept in the White House. According to the Mental Floss, Jackson kept it there to age it, but, funnily enough, when you have that much cheese sitting in warm weather like D.C. can produce, it tends to get a bit rank. It was referred to as an "evil-smelling horror". Jackson's term was winding down in 1837, so rather than attempt to move his giant, smelly boulder, he just held giant reception and allowed people to eat it. "It was an astute move; there’s nothing people love more than free food. The reception’s 10,000 visitors attacked the wheel of cheese with such fervor that the entire thing was gone within two hours."
When Van Buren took office shortly thereafter, he just about gagged from the smell that had permeated the White House. He had everything aired out and cleaned . . . just in time to receive the gift of his own giant block of cheese.
I guess the moral of the story is that the 1830s was the absolute best decade for cheese the world has ever known.